The brief was for someone to look after four donkeys and a couple of cats for a month and having just completed an assignment caring for two highly bred champion horses, the thought of tough as nails donkeys and two sweet kitty cats was very appealing!
True to expectations, and unlike the previous assignment, there were no complicated feeding schedules (just daily hay). No rugs, bandages, turnout paddocks, stabling, etc., This would be bliss, I thought as I happily waved to the neighbour who peered curiously over the fence as I lugged my suitcase down the path.
How lucky was this property owner!?
She had acreage in a suburban area, close to conveniences. What a beautiful time I would have here! In fact, this assignment was so un-complicated, the owner had only left half a page of instructions..plus a p.s. "can you help my father unload the hay from the back of my van - Dad lives next door"
I admit this request did knock the rose coloured glasses slightly sideways as the van was packed solid with damp hay in urgent need of being moved into airy storage. As any horse owner knows, leaving hay in the confined interior of a vehicle would result in dusty mould and rust the van's interior. Brushing this small annoyance aside and sure I would be helping "Dad" rather than moving all this myself, I politely knocked on the door to have it opened by a stern looking senior who was at least 95 and 'apparently' in poor health! "You can't drive that van down to the shed.., you'll get it bogged", "Dad" sullenly informed me. You'll have to move it by hand"
By this time, four very agitated donkeys had spotted the tardy human who they correctly surmised was supposed to deliver their breakfast - pronto! Obviously, aware their vocalising had the power to propel humans into action, and they synchronised their combined braying to around 240 decibels, the symphony bouncing off the surrounding hills in rolling waves. If you have never heard a donkey chorus, think ocean liner fog horn combined with freight train brakes and you are halfway there! My pleading for them to be quiet was drowned out by their racket and I watched as curtains and blinds in this quiet neighbourhood pop open and angry faces press to the glass to see what all the commotion was about.
By now half the neighbours had been denied their Sunday sleep-in with some looking ready to take me to task, so I thought my best plan was to hastened breakfast delivery and end the noisy protest. Grabbing one bale, I hobbled full speed, Gangnam style, in the direction of the donkey's paddock, but as clumsiness and haste dictate, I tripped and landed face first in the bog. The same bog which was preventing me driving this hay to where it should be!
"Dad" at this point decided he would, after all, offer me his assistance and was holding open the gate, unwittingly letting four agitated (albeit less noisy) donkeys loose into the unfenced backyard! Five minutes earlier those same donkeys had concentrated all their visual and vocal attention on the hay but now!! they spied neighbouring vegetable gardens, manicured laws and No. 6's prized rose garden and were making a speedy beeline towards these culinary delights.
Quick thinking and action were required and so grabbing a spade, the only instrument I could quickly muster, I sawed frantically at the baling twine which was steadfastly holding. I was just about to tackle it with my teeth when it gave a satisfying pop and burst open.
Snatching up what I hoped was a deliciously tantalising biscuit, I took off after the donkey leader - how do you tell a donkey leader??? Obviously, the one with the loudest bray!
I frantically waved the hay in his face. As he reached forward, I turned and took off running towards their paddock, hoping and praying they'd follow but I would also cover the distance and be inside the paddock before I let them catch me. Elated they were following and I was going to make it, I lunged through the gate and heard it snap shut behind me?.. what!!??? "Well, said Dad, they were about to catch you, so I shut the gate. I must say Missy, you can run pretty fast!
At this point I had been severely harbouring less than charitable thoughts about Dad but before I could express my lack of gratitude, I saw the boss donkey pushing on the gate! I might still get them all safely secured. None to gently I shoved Dad out of the way, wrenched open the gate and breathed a sign of relief as four donkeys cantered back to safety...All was well, except, I still had 30 bales to move.., thankfully I had "Dad" to help!
